Shandi's all time Favorite Quotes
Disclaimer: These are not your average boring quotes.... (may offend some veiwers)
I love to read but I can't read when I'm drunk and I'm always drunk.
-Katrina
Oh the drawwer is blindfolded!
-Josh
Drawer isn't a word.
-Josh
Have you looked in the mirror naked lately?
-Ashley
You like my what?
-Jason
I’d like to get some boyfriend Mmmmm!
I’m excited about Katie’s Turkey!!!
-Laura
Learn to pull out!
-Jason
Don't let me near the shnoe stails!
-Ashley
I like my solids.
-Amber
Pythagorus gets around!
-Mrs Basran
Me: *in the liquor cabinet, bottoms-up-chugging Fireball.
Jason: "Does this mean I should go get naked?"
Me: At least you don’t like triangles as much as Pythagorus.
Katie: Says who?
Well, I mean I don't want to squeeze his balls. I was thinking from your perspective.
-Ashley
WOW! You WOULD win gold.
-Me
Ashley: Man, to be a fly in your mind.
Me: I think my mind is a fly. Just buzzin' around in there and I can't catch it...
Ashley: Bouncin' off walls and shit...
Me: Yeah, hitting the sides and I'm like, "Oh, there's something there- Nope, now it's gone- Oh Wait, now there's something over here- no, no..."
Uncle Ron, you better not make a hole in your face.
-Ethan
I ate cookie off someone's dirty bag.
-Ashley
Me: f urself
Jason:
Me: Hello?
Jason:
Me: .. not literally…
FonDON'T!
-Matt
You’re going to see Anacondas???
-Annika
Katie: Heeey!!!!! THAT GUYS SLEEPING!
Erin: No no! Don’t wake ‘im up! Nobody really likes him anyway.
I'm confused. I need a woman.
-Ashley (Ah, biology quotes.)
Oh, Miss I-don't-have-vocabulary, because I'm a massage th- Ow! No! Fork, I'm sorry I'M SOR-!
-Matt
I'm not material anymore, because I've bought everything I want.
-Jason
Peanut or M&M?
-Annika
Mmmm! Oxygen.
-Matt
That's why we're friends. You understand frootloops and shit like that.
-Ashley
*CRUNCH!* I ate your shirt! You're naked, you're naked, you're naked!...
-Ethan
Well I did show the child springing from his loins.
-Josh
I want Pop Rocks! Damn you Ron Stoppable!
Nah, I don’t like Vancouver, I could never live in that city, no. UBC, not for me .. ROBOTS?! AWESOME!!!!!
-Rachel
Me: little Rachel robots! 
Mom: eat it.
Ethan: no.
Mom: eat it!
Ethan: no!
Mom: put it in your mouth!
Ethan: I do'wannit!
I just can’t get up, I’m like S**** in the sauna!
-Ashley
Pfft me Tired? You don't call me Deucey for nothing!
-Jason
Hullow!
-Cara
You're epic. I hope you know that.
-Matt
Yeah, see I need to get these conditions changed because I just got out yesterday and I have to fly to New Mexico tomorrow to film with Richard Gere and it also says I can't be near my girlfriend's kids but these are her daughters right here.
-Kim (Fun fun hanging at the court house)
Your age?
-Jason
In the Zellers parking lot: "Is that a goat?"
Shoes!
-Ethan
Parker: Hey, who wants to have a bath?
Warren: Me.
Parker: Let’s go.
said in a very serious, "how now brown cow" voice: I felt a distance from it because of the craziness of the hairstyles..
Oh! Rick Hansen is SUCH a turn-on…
-Annika
If you were to shrink to this big, and hop in there, you would die.
-Ashley
Ethan: Mommy's good at my Dora game.
Me: Mommy's good at everything.
Ethan: Yeah, but not at SpongeBob. She always calls my SpongeBob game a dork...
Whatever you do, don't think of the Oompa Loompa song.
-Rodney
Now, you’ve assured me this is mustard and not vomit, but I slept between two drunks, so God only knows…
-Caitlin
Breasts, chest, BRITNEY SPEARS!
-Lauren
Ethan: I heared sometin!
Mom: I heard it too!
Ethan: Um, No, it wasn't a two.
What? I’m not good enough for you? *SLUUUUURP
-Jessica
Ah, I was next.
-Mr.Subway Man-Bitch
I swear! He told me, to tell the leprechauns, to do it!
-Rae
C is for cookie OH!!!
-Ethan
Hey Clinton,
-Tim, every morning in Highschool
What would you like on your buttery topping? I mean what would you like on your popcorn? Uh, I mean..
-Annika
Does that mean that we can’t randomly run up and hug you anymore?
My Hero: no,
Me&Laura: Aaaaw…
My Hero: -you still can!
Box, cube, Cuba Gooding Jr.!
-Erin
I GeSPLODE!
-Me and Rae
This diamond in the rough's got more facets than even you can count Mr.Pansy-ass banker!
-Me(in my dreams)
Oh okay, I just figured this out too. The I before the V means it’s a 4…
-Jami
Erin: His nipples are so small.
Joey: I'm right here!
Erin: They're like dimes...
Joey: I can hear you!
I found Judy! I found Judy! I found Judys on the floors!
-Ethan
I have to get in every precious minute with you.
-Jason (even if he was incoherent)
Drunk Lucas: Shhhhhhhhhh! Quiet doggie! Shhh!
Cooper: Hoooooowl, Bark bark, Hooowl Bark!
Me: Hello.
Cooper: Bark bark bark, hooowl!
Mom: What's going on?
Cooper: Hoooooowl!
Me: We have a visitor.
Cooper: Bark bark, woof!
Mom: Who're you?
Cooper: Woof, Bark bark bark!
Drunk Lucas: Lucas.
Mom: Who's Lucas?
Drunk Lucas: Aaron's friend.
Mom: Do we know Lucas?
Me: I don't know Lucas.
Cooper: Bark!
Mom: I think you need to leave now, Hon... Or I'll let go of my dog.
Cooper: Ferocious barking, groooowl!
Mom: You don't want me to let the dog go.
Drunk Lucas: No. *leaves*
Me and Mom: Good doggie!
New Potato!!!!! No it really is a thing!
-Katie & Erin
Damn you and your sexy ass Caitlin!
-Me
Can you see your eyebrows?
-Jami
Lauren: Could you just get back up there for a minute?
Judy: What? Like this?
Lauren: Yeah, thanks..
Judy: 
Aaaaaaah!
It has a nice, wait, no ring, No Fucking Ring!
-Chase
Virtue, Fun and Grabass!
Go for it, Connect Four.
Fliney shoors bite Shlee-ashes!
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